Post #15: Azerbaijan's 9/11

My surroundings remind me every day that I am not in America. Usually it hits me early in the morning as I pass newly chopped off cow & sheep heads with their tongues hanging out and their eyes still staring at me. I can appreciate that they will provide fresh meat in dinners that night instead of shipped meat that has taken days to arrive. Everywhere I go I hear music. Sometimes it’s Azerbaijan’s ancient & national music, and some times its 50 Cent latest hit, from 5 years ago.

Unfortunately not all aspects of Azeri culture are as colorful as these examples. In fact some things that I encounter on a daily basis are rather dark and can be a bit uncomfortable. One issue that is EXTREMELY noticeable in every day life here is the remembrance of a war between Azerbaijan and the neighbor to the west; Armenia. It is a very very sensitive subject and I have been asked countless times (almost literally by every new person that I meet) if I’ve heard about the Armenians and what they did to Azerbaijan. It is also so sensitive that we as PCVs have been told time and time again not to express our own opinions about the matter, and it’s best just to say “I have heard about it. War is very sad,” or “Yes I’m so sorry to hear about the conflict,” or something along those lines. I hear about it everyday; if not in conversation then on the TV every night with my host family.

I’ve debated with myself for about a week about how to write this post. If any of it is unclear in anyway then I apologies, that’s not my intention. But I’m also not surprised since I’ve recently found it’s kind of hard to express my own thoughts on the matter on this public blog.

Here is the shortest and hopefully most none-biased explanation I can give of the war:

After the Soviet Union Collapsed, Azerbaijan and Armenia went to war over a region known as Nagorno-Karabakh. This is the southwestern region of Azerbaijn, neighboring Armenia. It was officially part of Azerbaijan but there was a majority of Ethnic Armenians living there. The legacy of the war is that Armenia currently occupies Nagorno-Karabakh which makes up 20% of Azerbaijan. The war is still technically going on but because of a cease-fire agreement that both countries agreed to there has been no officially fighting since 1994.

Ever since then, Azerbaijan’s culture/government/citizens/etc., have really made sure that they don’t forget that they were pretty severely scarred & defeated. People are still passionately angry about it. Even many of the youth that I work with, some of whom weren’t even born yet, are just as enraged as the rest of the population. Without getting into details I can honestly say that I have never known the hatred & the lingering feeling of victimization that exists here; which of course I am thankful for but also saddened by…

The 20th of January 1990 (Yirmi Yanvar in Azeri) is when Russian troops, still inside Azerbaijan, wounded and killed hundreds/thousands of civilians. This was also when Armenian tanks and troops moved into Azerbaijan to fight for the Nagorno-Karabakh region in.
Yirmi Yanvar is now a day to morn the people lost in the Armenian invasion and Russian attack; including all Azerbaijanis who lost their lives during the Conflict with Armenia in the years following. Everyone goes to their city’s cemetery where people who died during the conflict are buried. There they pay their respects and lay flowers on graves. The government controlled TV channels, which are all the channels in Azerbaijan, show 20th Yanvar themed broadcasting all day long (Movies, “news”, interviews, etc.).

On the 20th I went to the cemetery with several of my conversation club members. We then walked around the city and they told me what they knew/felt about the situation. They explain it to me as “Azerbaijan’s 9/11.”

I really am glad to have had the opportunity to pay my respect with them, and it really seemed to mean a lot. Truly, war is sad and the after effects are terrible. Azerbaijan does still have an IDP population (internally displaced peoples) that is 16 years removed from the war.

There are however, things surrounding the conflict that are used today that I believe are a disservice to Azerbaijan, and I’m not talking about evil Armenians on the other side of the border...

It is an issue that has to be tip-toed around a lot here. There are topics like Nagorno-Karabakh and other things that I really want to share with people who are interested enough to read this blog. And since Azerbai-Sean has become my official Peace Corps journal, I want to try and capture as many of my experiences and thoughts as possible. Yermi Yanvar and other things have made me realized that I am not able to do that here; on this public blog.

So what I’ve decided to do is create a way for me to chronicle my more personal thoughts and opinions on different things that I encounter here via a Mass Email list. I’d like to invite anyone who enjoys reading this blog to receive these emails. All you have to do is send an email to seaninazerbaijan@gmail.com and include your name/who you are. I will add your email address to the list and you will receive my more candid emails whenever I write them. This way I will be able to have a forum where I can be a bit more open about certain subjects that I would otherwise be uncomfortable posting here on the main blog.

I don’t see myself using it on any regular basis, and I’m not sure what it will include (possibly rants, culturally sensitive subjects, my own personal frustrations with specific things, etc.). Do not feel pressured to join this list. Again, it’s more for me so that I can keep a well rounded account of my time here while still keeping the main blog focused on being a tool for people interested in the Peace Corps and service abroad and to communicate with you all back home.

Thanks & take care!

-----Comments from Last Time------

Breea: Thanks for the continued prayers & well wishes. Flogging Molly reference: I know you'll never "turn your back on me," you'll "never let me down!" Good luck starting this finally semester. You're basically "within a mile of home!"

I feel incredibly dorky...but I love it.

Caroline: Great to hear from you! Congrats on all the developments in your life. And yeah, 3 Cups of Tea was amazing. I'm on the last 20 pages of Mountains Beyond Mountains, and for anyone who enjoyed 3CT, it's a must!

Post 14: Lessons in Humility

Work has been smooth and I’ve been exploring other possible ways to use my available time. I met with Azerbaijan’s Save The Children office in Ming last Friday (For those who don’t know, after the ’08 Presidential Elections I worked for an organization that did advacacy & awareness efforts for STC in the States). I’m anxious to see what exactly they’ve been up to and what plans they have for the future.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading too which I’m happy about. My favorite book so far has been 3 Cups of Tea, which tells the true story of a former mountaineer who spent some time in Northern Pakistan after a nearly fatale attempt climbing K2. Ever since the 90’s this guy has built schools in areas that not even the Pakistani government could/would reach. He’s had his run-ins with the Taliban and has even started projects in Post 9/11 Afghanistan. What I loved most was that 1 of the major messages of the book focused on education in those areas as a vital tool to fighting Islamic extremism. And that an overwhelming majority of people living in that region strongly oppose extremism and want nothing more than what everyone wants: a life with opportunities for themselves and their families.
I’ve started another book that seems to have a similar feel of dedication and service. It has come highly recommended to me by my friend and former boss, Rick Eaton, called Mountains Beyond Mountains. This one is about a doctor who has truly dedicated nearly every day of his life to supplying medical care and services to the people of Haiti. Please fact check me if I’m wrong, but I think I read somewhere that currently in Haiti (post earthquake) the only hospitals capable of providing medical services are ones that Dr. Farmer and his organization, Partners in Health, have established in the past in several communities outside of the capital.

The biggest success for me personally last week had to do with my relationship with the host family. There had previously been issues and situations that caused me to be impatient and frustrated, and in many cases I felt that I was less like a guest or member of the family and more of a burden. 1 example is that I did not agree with their strong suggestion of being home by 8:30 every night, and then came home to a locked gate sometime in the 9 o’clock hr (I stayed in contact with them too, letting them know I wouldn’t be home until later since I was walking some of the PCV girls home). Another example is in regards to my 22 year old host brother. He’s the man of the house since the father past away some years ago. The problem is I don’t think I would ever call him mature and he seems to see himself as some kind of comedian. He loves to make jokes and likes to do some teasing at my expense, which is easy to do since I hardly ever understand him. Believe me when I say that it got really old rather quickly. My retaliation and way of kind of striking back was to never do anything he told me to do since I could always assume he was playing some kind of joke on me. Of course in some cases he wasn’t joking, but I kind of had a ‘that’ll show’m’ attitude about it. My younger host brother liked this technique, but ‘the man of the house’ wasn’t very amused.
I did my fare share of complaining and making jokes about the situation so I could blow off steam with in the Peace Corps community. However, my funny stories of countless nights of Borsch for dinner (cabbage soup) and the time the 22 yr old poked his head through the window of the outside wash room while I was buck naked were always trumped by a serious story of someone having to switch families because of a safety & security issues. Someone’s host brother stole a large amount of money from him and the police got involved. Another person’s host father was making inappropriate verbal advances towards her and was showing no signs of stopping (By the way, these are not normal things at all; very unique situations). The point is I was reminded of how lucky I really am.

The story of those other PCVs’ experiences coupled with the humility and hard work of building cultural bridges I’d been reading about from Greg Mortenson in 3 Cups of Tea and Dr. Farmer in Mountains Beyond Mountains, kind of helped me realize I had put myself on a course that I was not happy with. In fact, I found myself feeling a bit embarrassed. I knew some changes needed to be made and I reminded myself that I can only be in control of myself and my own actions.

Last week ended wonderfully. My mother, who at one point I felt didn’t really want me there, is now introducing me as her son to guests. My 18 year old brother and I continue to have a flourishing relationship, and even the 22 year old host brother who can still drives me nuts, has stopped with the unnecessary jokes…unless people are visiting and he wants to put on a performance for a new audience.

None the less, doing little things like bringing home some cheap cookies or sweets from the bazaar on the way home and offering to go get bread for dinner at the market instead of one of the brothers having to always go has gone a very long way in a very very short period of time. And, if being home by 8:30 to hang out in the living room with them while they watch hours of Azeri TV is what will make all the difference, then it’s a battle totally worth loosing.

I’d like to leave you with a quote from a fellow volunteer and friend as she was chronicling her experience for friends & family back home. It too gave me a bit more focus and perspective last week:

“To those who say peace does not come that easy I can say that I have sat in the living rooms of people I have nothing in common with and without weighty words and without powerful weapons have made peace. Those who say it is not that simple are not willing to be vulnerable for the sake of friendship because you have to trust their water to drink their tea. Don’t let people convince you that ‘war is necessary.’” - Sarah Ferguson, AZ7 PCV.

----------Comments From Last Time----------

Hannah: I can't wait for you to meet all these people! It's going to be wonderful. Of course as you can see from the picture, Eli has become pretty attached and might be a bit territorial, so just be ready for that.

Nate: I want you to know that if you ever came out here and played just a few games of basketball, you'd be a living legened throughout this country. And you & I both know that my facial hair, which I've been working on for quite sometime now, couldn't even hold a candle to the growth you could produce in 2 weeks time. Miss you brother.

#13: 1st month of service

Now that the holidays are over and I sort of have a routine down I plan to post a blog at the beginning of each week. Let me give you a quick timeline of the past month:

December 10: Traveled to my permanent site; the city of Mingechevir
December 11-19: Introduction to my host family, my host organization (The Ministry of Youth & Sports), my fellow Volunteers (8 of us total in the city), and just the city & surroundings in general.
December 20-January 3: The Holidays! My Birthday on the 21st in Ming. Christmas in Sheki about a 1.5 hr bus ride North of me. New Years in Baku, the Capital.
January 4-11: Focusing back on work and organizing my plans for the immediate future.

Although everyone wants to hit the ground running when it comes to something they’re eager or excited about, the Peace Corps prepared us to expect the first few months to be very slow. Basically the expectation of a new volunteer is to observe the new community, get to know their surrounds and begin to settle in and build relationships with locals. No one is expected to begin projects right off the bat. We’re all the new kids in town, and unlike Pre-Service Training which is incredible structure day in and day out, there is almost nothing waiting for us to jump into. This time is meant for us to continue practicing our language, build relationships with our Azeri counterparts at work, and to network with anyone and everyone (get to know people in your organization as well as the guy selling potatoes at the bazaar, etc.). To sum it up, we’re building our foundation for the next 2 years of our lives, not saving the world in a matter of weeks.

However, the very real danger of this period of time for a volunteer is boredom. The lack of structure, the lack of work, and even the lack of real accountability in some cases can actually weigh pretty heavily on an individual who has expected a lot out of themselves leading up to this point. I have recently heard from some AZ6’s who have been here for a year now that the first 3 months was the most difficult time during their service thus far. Of course this is not a universal thought; just opinions and experiences of people I have talked to.

I will say that my experience has not been a direct reflection of what the Peace Corps told us to expect. My very first week in town I kind of was thrown into making several English Conversation Clubs. These clubs are sort of the corner stones for YD’s, at least as initial projects. These clubs are meant to provide a forum for young adults to come together to practice and use English that they’ve learned in school, share ideas and points of view on topics ranging from favorite types of food to political and social issues, and to learn about American culture from PCV’s. This past week I actually held interviews with over 35 Azerbaijani teens and young adults and placed them into different clubs I’ve scheduled so that I can match people up who are at similar levels of English competency.
I have to believe that the reasons why I have so many youth at my disposal right off the bat has to do with a these 2 things:

1) Mingechevir is the 4th biggest city in the country, so naturally there a just a lot of people here.
2) As I mentioned before, there are 8 PCV’s currently in Ming, and the Peace Corps has had a presence in the city for quite a long time. So a good chunk of these youth have experienced, met and participated in projects organized by volunteers long before I ever got here.

Other than that, I have been enjoying and finding great success in getting to know my fellow volunteers and my community. Just some of the things that have been a lot of fun (and in my mind productive) are sitting with some of the young adult boys in tea houses and playing chess while talking & joking, being invited to people’s homes for dinner and then staying to talk and play more games, playing basketball several times a week (for those of you that don’t know, I might be the worst b-ball player I know…..State side that is. I feel like a stud here). Also I piloted an English Movie Club. The group overwhelmingly voted to watch Twilight which I had not seen yet and if we continue to have this particular club they’ve already made it a mission to find a bootlegged copy of the sequel, New Moon.

I won’t get into the holidays too much, but the pictures are all from those gatherings. It was sad being away from home, but it was nice to be with large groups of Americans who were all in the same boat and all looking forward to having fun and celebrating together.