Work has been smooth and I’ve been exploring other possible ways to use my available time. I met with Azerbaijan’s Save The Children office in Ming last Friday (For those who don’t know, after the ’08 Presidential Elections I worked for an organization that did advacacy & awareness efforts for STC in the States). I’m anxious to see what exactly they’ve been up to and what plans they have for the future.
I’ve been doing a lot of reading too which I’m happy about. My favorite book so far has been 3 Cups of Tea, which tells the true story of a former mountaineer who spent some time in Northern Pakistan after a nearly fatale attempt climbing K2. Ever since the 90’s this guy has built schools in areas that not even the Pakistani government could/would reach. He’s had his run-ins with the Taliban and has even started projects in Post 9/11 Afghanistan. What I loved most was that 1 of the major messages of the book focused on education in those areas as a vital tool to fighting Islamic extremism. And that an overwhelming majority of people living in that region strongly oppose extremism and want nothing more than what everyone wants: a life with opportunities for themselves and their families.
I’ve started another book that seems to have a similar feel of dedication and service. It has come highly recommended to me by my friend and former boss, Rick Eaton, called Mountains Beyond Mountains. This one is about a doctor who has truly dedicated nearly every day of his life to supplying medical care and services to the people of Haiti. Please fact check me if I’m wrong, but I think I read somewhere that currently in Haiti (post earthquake) the only hospitals capable of providing medical services are ones that Dr. Farmer and his organization, Partners in Health, have established in the past in several communities outside of the capital.
The biggest success for me personally last week had to do with my relationship with the host family. There had previously been issues and situations that caused me to be impatient and frustrated, and in many cases I felt that I was less like a guest or member of the family and more of a burden. 1 example is that I did not agree with their strong suggestion of being home by 8:30 every night, and then came home to a locked gate sometime in the 9 o’clock hr (I stayed in contact with them too, letting them know I wouldn’t be home until later since I was walking some of the PCV girls home). Another example is in regards to my 22 year old host brother. He’s the man of the house since the father past away some years ago. The problem is I don’t think I would ever call him mature and he seems to see himself as some kind of comedian. He loves to make jokes and likes to do some teasing at my expense, which is easy to do since I hardly ever understand him. Believe me when I say that it got really old rather quickly. My retaliation and way of kind of striking back was to never do anything he told me to do since I could always assume he was playing some kind of joke on me. Of course in some cases he wasn’t joking, but I kind of had a ‘that’ll show’m’ attitude about it. My younger host brother liked this technique, but ‘the man of the house’ wasn’t very amused.
I did my fare share of complaining and making jokes about the situation so I could blow off steam with in the Peace Corps community. However, my funny stories of countless nights of Borsch for dinner (cabbage soup) and the time the 22 yr old poked his head through the window of the outside wash room while I was buck naked were always trumped by a serious story of someone having to switch families because of a safety & security issues. Someone’s host brother stole a large amount of money from him and the police got involved. Another person’s host father was making inappropriate verbal advances towards her and was showing no signs of stopping (By the way, these are not normal things at all; very unique situations). The point is I was reminded of how lucky I really am.
The story of those other PCVs’ experiences coupled with the humility and hard work of building cultural bridges I’d been reading about from Greg Mortenson in 3 Cups of Tea and Dr. Farmer in Mountains Beyond Mountains, kind of helped me realize I had put myself on a course that I was not happy with. In fact, I found myself feeling a bit embarrassed. I knew some changes needed to be made and I reminded myself that I can only be in control of myself and my own actions.
Last week ended wonderfully. My mother, who at one point I felt didn’t really want me there, is now introducing me as her son to guests. My 18 year old brother and I continue to have a flourishing relationship, and even the 22 year old host brother who can still drives me nuts, has stopped with the unnecessary jokes…unless people are visiting and he wants to put on a performance for a new audience.
I’ve started another book that seems to have a similar feel of dedication and service. It has come highly recommended to me by my friend and former boss, Rick Eaton, called Mountains Beyond Mountains. This one is about a doctor who has truly dedicated nearly every day of his life to supplying medical care and services to the people of Haiti. Please fact check me if I’m wrong, but I think I read somewhere that currently in Haiti (post earthquake) the only hospitals capable of providing medical services are ones that Dr. Farmer and his organization, Partners in Health, have established in the past in several communities outside of the capital.
The biggest success for me personally last week had to do with my relationship with the host family. There had previously been issues and situations that caused me to be impatient and frustrated, and in many cases I felt that I was less like a guest or member of the family and more of a burden. 1 example is that I did not agree with their strong suggestion of being home by 8:30 every night, and then came home to a locked gate sometime in the 9 o’clock hr (I stayed in contact with them too, letting them know I wouldn’t be home until later since I was walking some of the PCV girls home). Another example is in regards to my 22 year old host brother. He’s the man of the house since the father past away some years ago. The problem is I don’t think I would ever call him mature and he seems to see himself as some kind of comedian. He loves to make jokes and likes to do some teasing at my expense, which is easy to do since I hardly ever understand him. Believe me when I say that it got really old rather quickly. My retaliation and way of kind of striking back was to never do anything he told me to do since I could always assume he was playing some kind of joke on me. Of course in some cases he wasn’t joking, but I kind of had a ‘that’ll show’m’ attitude about it. My younger host brother liked this technique, but ‘the man of the house’ wasn’t very amused.
I did my fare share of complaining and making jokes about the situation so I could blow off steam with in the Peace Corps community. However, my funny stories of countless nights of Borsch for dinner (cabbage soup) and the time the 22 yr old poked his head through the window of the outside wash room while I was buck naked were always trumped by a serious story of someone having to switch families because of a safety & security issues. Someone’s host brother stole a large amount of money from him and the police got involved. Another person’s host father was making inappropriate verbal advances towards her and was showing no signs of stopping (By the way, these are not normal things at all; very unique situations). The point is I was reminded of how lucky I really am.
The story of those other PCVs’ experiences coupled with the humility and hard work of building cultural bridges I’d been reading about from Greg Mortenson in 3 Cups of Tea and Dr. Farmer in Mountains Beyond Mountains, kind of helped me realize I had put myself on a course that I was not happy with. In fact, I found myself feeling a bit embarrassed. I knew some changes needed to be made and I reminded myself that I can only be in control of myself and my own actions.
Last week ended wonderfully. My mother, who at one point I felt didn’t really want me there, is now introducing me as her son to guests. My 18 year old brother and I continue to have a flourishing relationship, and even the 22 year old host brother who can still drives me nuts, has stopped with the unnecessary jokes…unless people are visiting and he wants to put on a performance for a new audience.
None the less, doing little things like bringing home some cheap cookies or sweets from the bazaar on the way home and offering to go get bread for dinner at the market instead of one of the brothers having to always go has gone a very long way in a very very short period of time. And, if being home by 8:30 to hang out in the living room with them while they watch hours of Azeri TV is what will make all the difference, then it’s a battle totally worth loosing.
I’d like to leave you with a quote from a fellow volunteer and friend as she was chronicling her experience for friends & family back home. It too gave me a bit more focus and perspective last week:
“To those who say peace does not come that easy I can say that I have sat in the living rooms of people I have nothing in common with and without weighty words and without powerful weapons have made peace. Those who say it is not that simple are not willing to be vulnerable for the sake of friendship because you have to trust their water to drink their tea. Don’t let people convince you that ‘war is necessary.’” - Sarah Ferguson, AZ7 PCV.
I’d like to leave you with a quote from a fellow volunteer and friend as she was chronicling her experience for friends & family back home. It too gave me a bit more focus and perspective last week:
“To those who say peace does not come that easy I can say that I have sat in the living rooms of people I have nothing in common with and without weighty words and without powerful weapons have made peace. Those who say it is not that simple are not willing to be vulnerable for the sake of friendship because you have to trust their water to drink their tea. Don’t let people convince you that ‘war is necessary.’” - Sarah Ferguson, AZ7 PCV.
----------Comments From Last Time----------
Hannah: I can't wait for you to meet all these people! It's going to be wonderful. Of course as you can see from the picture, Eli has become pretty attached and might be a bit territorial, so just be ready for that.
Nate: I want you to know that if you ever came out here and played just a few games of basketball, you'd be a living legened throughout this country. And you & I both know that my facial hair, which I've been working on for quite sometime now, couldn't even hold a candle to the growth you could produce in 2 weeks time. Miss you brother.
glad to hear you found some perspective and that things are starting to get better. :) i'll be praying for you and your relationship with your host family! miss you friend! :)
ReplyDeleteI love the book 3 Cups of Tea! So inspiring..especially in the realm of education!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I found your blog!
Hi Sean. It's your crazy dental hygienist, ivory. Just cleaned your moms teeth and she gave me your blog. So cool. Read 3 cups of tea and loved it. You're living it!
ReplyDelete