(Pictures: Group Pic of Mustache Party/Fried Food Fest; Some friends visiting Ming; Me and my host bro Gutrat)I know I’ve been off the grid for over a month here. For that I apologize. My access to a more reliable Internet source should drastically improve in April when I move out and am living by myself. I have one main story to tell from the past 4.5 weeks, and then will sum everything else up in a short closing paragraph.
I know that a minor theme in recent entries has been my relationship with the host family. Long story short, the 22 yr old host brother (the one that ‘helped me out in the shower’ and have had several issues with ever since moving to Mingechevir) and I decided that we did not like each other. Well actually, without getting into too many details (A similar situation with the shower, but this time I was using the squat toilet…other stuff too) I ended up telling him that I was fed up with him. He didn’t like that at all so for about a week he and I didn’t even speak. Although his constant back-handed joking had stopped, I soon decided that I wasn’t very comfortable completely ignoring him or with him completely ignoring me. So what I decided to do was to have him play a role in my Azerbaijani Language lessons. I made a large amount of vocabulary words with index cards and handed them to him. We spent a whole week with him sort of playing teacher, not only with the words but with my pronunciation which has been my biggest problem from the start. What this ultimately did was give us something to bond over, gave him a sense of investment in improving my life here, and gave us something to do with each other while we just sat around the house; kind of just hanging out.
I’ve had a few weeks to reflect now, and I still think that the biggest success I’ve had while living in both host families has been turning this antagonizing relationship into a legitimate and trusting friendship. Really, Gutrat (pronounced Good-Rat….which I know find a bit ironic) is someone who has had my back several times since then. This goes for everything from when I am leaving the house and everyone asks where I’m going, he says “It doesn’t matter where he’s going, let him go in peace.” Or when I confess that my stomach hurts and I urgently need to use the toilet, he’ll go round everyone up and tell them he needs them inside for something to make sure no one is near the squatter while I (most likely noisily…sorry) take care of business.
Really he has my back on everything, but unfortunately I think it has gone a little too far at some points. The best example of this is while Gutrat and I walked down our street (he and I going to our respective work places) a couple guys our aged said something to us. It looked like my host bro knew them, but he immediately turned hostile towards one of the boys. Bantering words turned into angry expressions, expressions turned into a toe to toe staring contest, and then staring turned into a fist melee. The 2nd boy & I had to come between them and pull our fighters apart. As we walked on I asked him what that was all about. He said never mind, but after a few second said the guy insulted me.
Now, I’m sure I’ve heard whatever the boy said countless times since being here from other random people. It is what it is; most people are kind, some people are rude. This goes for ever culture. I really think Gutrat made it a bigger deal out of the whole thing than it needs to be and just knowing his personality, he can be a bit of a drama queen with things. Harassment isn’t an overwhelming part of life here as a foreigner but it does happen here and there (I’m saying that as a man. For women the story can be a bit different at times; this will probably be the next/first topic for the private email list- coming soon…I promise…I hope). Although the whole interaction was a bit odd and uncomfortable, I’d be lying if I didn’t feel a little bit good about a former adversary standing up for my honor.
The rest of the month was a blast. Mingechevir was sort of a destination spot for some good friends of mine and other volunteers all throughout February and it was great seeing people. There was also a great party that a fellow Volunteer hosted called the “Mustache & Fried Food Fest,” where everyone had to be wearing a real or fake stache; boys and girls a like.
My goal is to have another blog up by next Monday at the latest. Have a good week!
I know that a minor theme in recent entries has been my relationship with the host family. Long story short, the 22 yr old host brother (the one that ‘helped me out in the shower’ and have had several issues with ever since moving to Mingechevir) and I decided that we did not like each other. Well actually, without getting into too many details (A similar situation with the shower, but this time I was using the squat toilet…other stuff too) I ended up telling him that I was fed up with him. He didn’t like that at all so for about a week he and I didn’t even speak. Although his constant back-handed joking had stopped, I soon decided that I wasn’t very comfortable completely ignoring him or with him completely ignoring me. So what I decided to do was to have him play a role in my Azerbaijani Language lessons. I made a large amount of vocabulary words with index cards and handed them to him. We spent a whole week with him sort of playing teacher, not only with the words but with my pronunciation which has been my biggest problem from the start. What this ultimately did was give us something to bond over, gave him a sense of investment in improving my life here, and gave us something to do with each other while we just sat around the house; kind of just hanging out.
I’ve had a few weeks to reflect now, and I still think that the biggest success I’ve had while living in both host families has been turning this antagonizing relationship into a legitimate and trusting friendship. Really, Gutrat (pronounced Good-Rat….which I know find a bit ironic) is someone who has had my back several times since then. This goes for everything from when I am leaving the house and everyone asks where I’m going, he says “It doesn’t matter where he’s going, let him go in peace.” Or when I confess that my stomach hurts and I urgently need to use the toilet, he’ll go round everyone up and tell them he needs them inside for something to make sure no one is near the squatter while I (most likely noisily…sorry) take care of business.
Really he has my back on everything, but unfortunately I think it has gone a little too far at some points. The best example of this is while Gutrat and I walked down our street (he and I going to our respective work places) a couple guys our aged said something to us. It looked like my host bro knew them, but he immediately turned hostile towards one of the boys. Bantering words turned into angry expressions, expressions turned into a toe to toe staring contest, and then staring turned into a fist melee. The 2nd boy & I had to come between them and pull our fighters apart. As we walked on I asked him what that was all about. He said never mind, but after a few second said the guy insulted me.
Now, I’m sure I’ve heard whatever the boy said countless times since being here from other random people. It is what it is; most people are kind, some people are rude. This goes for ever culture. I really think Gutrat made it a bigger deal out of the whole thing than it needs to be and just knowing his personality, he can be a bit of a drama queen with things. Harassment isn’t an overwhelming part of life here as a foreigner but it does happen here and there (I’m saying that as a man. For women the story can be a bit different at times; this will probably be the next/first topic for the private email list- coming soon…I promise…I hope). Although the whole interaction was a bit odd and uncomfortable, I’d be lying if I didn’t feel a little bit good about a former adversary standing up for my honor.
The rest of the month was a blast. Mingechevir was sort of a destination spot for some good friends of mine and other volunteers all throughout February and it was great seeing people. There was also a great party that a fellow Volunteer hosted called the “Mustache & Fried Food Fest,” where everyone had to be wearing a real or fake stache; boys and girls a like.
My goal is to have another blog up by next Monday at the latest. Have a good week!
--------Comments From Last Time---------
Rob: You got me. I actually ran to Baku, and carried 6 other people on my back while I was in snow up to my belly button. Miss you brotha. Still waiting to hear about when you'll get a plane ticket out this way. With your back ground I think you'd really appreciate it!
Heather: HA! laughed out loud when i first saw that! You're right, I should have; totally has been known to work in the past
Nate: double HA! I hate my spelling, and thank you for mentioning it; I'm sure plenty of people who read this thing have been thinking it for a while. Miss you too man.
Don't ever let anybody tell you that you can't grow facial hair, if I didn't have a grisly beard right now, I'd be jealous. Seriously, no game, that thing is sweet. Cool idea with the vocab cards, glad it worked out. You're right, every culture gives you a little gruff I think, just like our culture gives minorities a little gruff too. Keep on keepin' on, you have our prayers.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we should all stop grooming our facial hair until you get back. I can forsee your homecoming party with all these grizzly men and then the group shave......pictures before and after! Good job on the new friend. No one could resist your charms for too long. God Bless
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