A little context:
This week over 40 staff members for Sierra Service Project (www.sierraserviceproject.org) began their training for the summer. As mentioned in my last entry, that organization means a lot to me and I have been thinking about this group during much of my spare time for the past week. I’ve also been reflecting on just how important staff members and the employees of SSP have been to me over the past 11 years of my life, and how because of them I am where I am today.
Dear SSP Staff,
I know you’re very busy with Training Week right now and I want to say I’m extremely excited for you and wish you the best of luck in the coming weeks. You are in a very unique position right now. You have a very important role to play this summer and because of that role you will have countless opportunities to make huge impressions on the lives of many people; young and old.
There is no question in my mind that the life path that I am currently on would not be possible without the influence you (SSP Staff Members) have had on me. To sum up a long & boring story I’ll just say that without your presence in my life I would be a completely different man. The sense of self-worth and self-respect I had in high school and now carry with me today came from my experiences in your camps each summer when I was a teenager. I didn’t really know what those things felt like before then. It was important for me to know during each year that there was a very real setting outside of high school where peer interactions between all high school social classes could be uplifting and positive. You gave everyone the opportunity to meet each other on the same level and to develop into young adults side by side. These experiences were made possible because of your example of the “New Standard of Cool,” where harsh and sarcastic jokes & behavior were no longer the main form of communication and interaction between youth. Instead, those things were seen as immature and were unwelcome in the community you built. It was a safe haven for all of us, whether we were dorky 14 year olds who literally feared our peers, or the popular kids who were afraid to take off their cool jacket because they were so nervous of what everyone would think if they acted a little differently than what they were used to. I can’t thank you enough for being the amazing sources of encouragement, empowerment and love that everyone needs during those incredibly awkward teenage years. Some do need it more than others but the great thing about what you do is you give everyone the chance to participate in a community driven by lessons of self-worth and real Christ Love. You also always did a great job protecting that community when some of us broke rules and tested boundaries, which could have had potentially negative effects on others. In those cases you punished us (rightfully so), but when the punishment was complete you gave us second chances and did not label us right away as problems or trouble makers. Those were great lessons in forgiveness.
The atmosphere that surrounds you is so powerful that it has the ability to influences major life changes on everyone who experiences it. And honestly, that goes for many adults as well. I think it is a true testament of your hard work and your ability to positively effect other people’s lives that there are counselors who return to your communities for 10, 15 or 20 plus years!
What you do in the lives of those volunteers is extraordinary. Understand that it’s not necessary for you to have a deep conversation with someone for you to make an impact in their lives. There are staff members who have taught me big life lessons and inspired me simply through their behavior and interactions with others throughout the week. You will make impacts in the lives of people who you have very few words with but they will remember you and your influence on them for years to come. You are truly tools of God this summer and the amazing thing is you won’t even be able to recognize all the ways you will be serving some people
Keep in mind that regardless of whether this is your 1st summer or your 6th you too will have opportunities for personal development and growth. Other Staff Members continued to mold me and shape me every single year I served on staff. I can’t tell you how many times over the past 8 months I’ve thanked God for the lessons I learned and the skills I acquired while working at SSP. My life right now would be a much bigger challenge if it weren’t for my experiences on staff, along side so many incredible individual. You are my inspiration.
Thanks to all of you unique role models working on staff and the year round dedication & efforts of the individuals in the office in Carmichael, Sierra Service Project is a force that offers powerful new perspectives and pathways for the volunteers to explore in their own lives. You truly are modern heroes and thank you in advance for what you will do this summer. Good luck and God bless.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Post #18: Month of March. + SSP Shout Out!
To anyone who is still reading this I really do apologize for not posting with any regularity. Again, April will probably change that since I will be moving into my own apartment! That will be an exciting day and I’ll be anxious to share it with you. The latest I’ll be moved out will be April 10 which will be the end of the mandatory 4 months that must be spent in a host family.
Let me give you the high-lights for the month of March:
1) VAC Meeting: VAC (Volunteer Action Committee) is a committee of elected individuals who represent the volunteer community to PC Staff on all sorts of issues (medical, our stipends/allowance, living arrangements, & anything that volunteers have concerns about). Every Peace Corps Country has this committee. These meetings happen four times a year and our first one of 2010 was March 6th.
1) VAC Meeting: VAC (Volunteer Action Committee) is a committee of elected individuals who represent the volunteer community to PC Staff on all sorts of issues (medical, our stipends/allowance, living arrangements, & anything that volunteers have concerns about). Every Peace Corps Country has this committee. These meetings happen four times a year and our first one of 2010 was March 6th.
At the end of training in early December ‘09, the 62 trainees that made up AZ7 (the 7th PC group of volunteers to serve in Azerbaijan) elected me and 3 other individuals to be their representatives.
On March 6th the 4 of us and the 4 VAC members of AZ6 met with PC Staff to discuss issues that our fellow volunteers had expressed concerns about. Early on in the day we did elections within the 8 person VAC committee; VAC President is always held by a member of the senior group (AZ6) while Vice President and Secretary go to the freshmen group (AZ7). I was elected VP, but only after a tie vote of 2 to 2 sent us into a tie-breaker of pulling names out of a hat. That's democracy for you. Politics is dirty...
On March 6th the 4 of us and the 4 VAC members of AZ6 met with PC Staff to discuss issues that our fellow volunteers had expressed concerns about. Early on in the day we did elections within the 8 person VAC committee; VAC President is always held by a member of the senior group (AZ6) while Vice President and Secretary go to the freshmen group (AZ7). I was elected VP, but only after a tie vote of 2 to 2 sent us into a tie-breaker of pulling names out of a hat. That's democracy for you. Politics is dirty...
When I first heard about the committee I wasn’t really sure if it was actually a vehicle to help improve the lives of volunteers or if it was similar to a “lame duck student council” that just sort of did nothing while looking like it was something (to anyone who served on a student council I’m sure you did a great job and weren’t a lame duck).
But honestly when the Staff meeting was officially over I couldn’t help but feel extremely accomplished. There were several issues that we brought up during the meeting that the PCV community was overwhelmingly skeptical about the Staff actually changing their positions on. For example; in many countries, PCV’s are not allowed to live with each other. Another issue was in regards to people receiving their monthly stipend; we receive our money from a bank accounts that the PC set up for us. However the bank we use does not have a presence in a number of communities where we serve and the volunteers there have to pay a fee. To give you some perspective, that fee equates maybe 10 rides on a marshutka/mini-bus, or maybe 16-18 eggs. These were issues that had been brought up in past meetings but were met with resistance each time. However, by the time the meeting ended both of these issues & others were addressed and the policies have been changed! Volunteers of the same gender who live in the same community can now live with each other. Also, the individuals who live in regions without our bank will be receiving and additional supplemented allowance to counteract the fees they face.
The meeting also gave me a very close look at the Senior Peace Corps Staff in Azerbaijan and to make a long story short, I’m very happy with what I saw. Our Country Director has been in this position I think for nearly 1 year and is an individual who really does a great job as a leader and is very thoughtful and receptive to legitimate and genuine concerns.
The next meeting is in June.
2) Fun PCV Gatherings: There were 3 of them this month; The Mustache Party/Fried Food Fest on March 7th which I mentioned in the last post, St. Patrick’s Day which we hosted here in Mingecevir, and then a trip down South with my close group of friends from training last weekend to a city called Lankaran. All gatherings were fun, therapeutic and are now good memories.
3) The Novruz Holiday: Novruz means knew day and is the ancient celebration of Spring in this region of the world. Try to imagine Halloween, Easter, Thanksgiving and New Years all rolled into one, and include a lot of people jumping over bon-fires. Also, I found out that a lot of guys shoot of guns for fun during this celebration and actually had one pointed at me and a group of guys I was standing with by a complete stranger (not a stranger to the other guys; they were all friends, and even though the action was done in jest, I definitely felt a bit of anxiety when I realized a gun that just went off was pointed right at me by an individual I had never met).
But honestly when the Staff meeting was officially over I couldn’t help but feel extremely accomplished. There were several issues that we brought up during the meeting that the PCV community was overwhelmingly skeptical about the Staff actually changing their positions on. For example; in many countries, PCV’s are not allowed to live with each other. Another issue was in regards to people receiving their monthly stipend; we receive our money from a bank accounts that the PC set up for us. However the bank we use does not have a presence in a number of communities where we serve and the volunteers there have to pay a fee. To give you some perspective, that fee equates maybe 10 rides on a marshutka/mini-bus, or maybe 16-18 eggs. These were issues that had been brought up in past meetings but were met with resistance each time. However, by the time the meeting ended both of these issues & others were addressed and the policies have been changed! Volunteers of the same gender who live in the same community can now live with each other. Also, the individuals who live in regions without our bank will be receiving and additional supplemented allowance to counteract the fees they face.
The meeting also gave me a very close look at the Senior Peace Corps Staff in Azerbaijan and to make a long story short, I’m very happy with what I saw. Our Country Director has been in this position I think for nearly 1 year and is an individual who really does a great job as a leader and is very thoughtful and receptive to legitimate and genuine concerns.
The next meeting is in June.
2) Fun PCV Gatherings: There were 3 of them this month; The Mustache Party/Fried Food Fest on March 7th which I mentioned in the last post, St. Patrick’s Day which we hosted here in Mingecevir, and then a trip down South with my close group of friends from training last weekend to a city called Lankaran. All gatherings were fun, therapeutic and are now good memories.
3) The Novruz Holiday: Novruz means knew day and is the ancient celebration of Spring in this region of the world. Try to imagine Halloween, Easter, Thanksgiving and New Years all rolled into one, and include a lot of people jumping over bon-fires. Also, I found out that a lot of guys shoot of guns for fun during this celebration and actually had one pointed at me and a group of guys I was standing with by a complete stranger (not a stranger to the other guys; they were all friends, and even though the action was done in jest, I definitely felt a bit of anxiety when I realized a gun that just went off was pointed right at me by an individual I had never met).
I really am sorry about not writing more frequently. I have been very blessed by a lot of your support in emails and by people commenting about things I write on here. It really has been fun for me, and I really enjoy hearing from you. I’m not trying to neglect this blog, and will hopefully be more on top of things in the coming weeks.
Shout Out For SSP!: For those that don't know, Sierra Service Project a non-profit organization that works in marginalized communities such as American Indian Reservations, South Central LA and in Honduras. It is an organization that is geared towards youth development and community service. It played a huge role in my personal development and in short, it has given me a lot of focus one my life goals as a Christian and as a human being. During March, SSP hired all the staff members that will be leading the different sites for the summer of 2010. Congratulations to everyone who will be involved with SSP in some way this year. It breaks my heart that this will be my first summer since 1999 that I will not be part the SSP experience, but I am excited for each and every one of you!
Check out http://www.sierraserviceproject.org if you want to donate or see what this great organization is up to! I know for a fact that I would not be serving here in the Peace Corps if it were not for the experiences, ideals and sense of self worth that I gained by being part of SSP.
------Comments From Last Time------
Nate: Now-a-days I'm just rock'n the sweet mustache. I'm pretty proud of it, but I'm sure your looking unbelievably manly right now. I've always envied your facial hair, but I think you already knew that dude.
Barry: My main man! How are you? I can't imagine a better homecoming than seeing all of you looking like you just came down from the mountains sporting epic facial hair.
I get updates here and there from Hannah and it's always good to hear about you and the SDUMC crew. Give everyone my best!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Post #17: A Fight In My Honor
(Pictures: Group Pic of Mustache Party/Fried Food Fest; Some friends visiting Ming; Me and my host bro Gutrat)I know I’ve been off the grid for over a month here. For that I apologize. My access to a more reliable Internet source should drastically improve in April when I move out and am living by myself. I have one main story to tell from the past 4.5 weeks, and then will sum everything else up in a short closing paragraph.
I know that a minor theme in recent entries has been my relationship with the host family. Long story short, the 22 yr old host brother (the one that ‘helped me out in the shower’ and have had several issues with ever since moving to Mingechevir) and I decided that we did not like each other. Well actually, without getting into too many details (A similar situation with the shower, but this time I was using the squat toilet…other stuff too) I ended up telling him that I was fed up with him. He didn’t like that at all so for about a week he and I didn’t even speak. Although his constant back-handed joking had stopped, I soon decided that I wasn’t very comfortable completely ignoring him or with him completely ignoring me. So what I decided to do was to have him play a role in my Azerbaijani Language lessons. I made a large amount of vocabulary words with index cards and handed them to him. We spent a whole week with him sort of playing teacher, not only with the words but with my pronunciation which has been my biggest problem from the start. What this ultimately did was give us something to bond over, gave him a sense of investment in improving my life here, and gave us something to do with each other while we just sat around the house; kind of just hanging out.
I’ve had a few weeks to reflect now, and I still think that the biggest success I’ve had while living in both host families has been turning this antagonizing relationship into a legitimate and trusting friendship. Really, Gutrat (pronounced Good-Rat….which I know find a bit ironic) is someone who has had my back several times since then. This goes for everything from when I am leaving the house and everyone asks where I’m going, he says “It doesn’t matter where he’s going, let him go in peace.” Or when I confess that my stomach hurts and I urgently need to use the toilet, he’ll go round everyone up and tell them he needs them inside for something to make sure no one is near the squatter while I (most likely noisily…sorry) take care of business.
Really he has my back on everything, but unfortunately I think it has gone a little too far at some points. The best example of this is while Gutrat and I walked down our street (he and I going to our respective work places) a couple guys our aged said something to us. It looked like my host bro knew them, but he immediately turned hostile towards one of the boys. Bantering words turned into angry expressions, expressions turned into a toe to toe staring contest, and then staring turned into a fist melee. The 2nd boy & I had to come between them and pull our fighters apart. As we walked on I asked him what that was all about. He said never mind, but after a few second said the guy insulted me.
Now, I’m sure I’ve heard whatever the boy said countless times since being here from other random people. It is what it is; most people are kind, some people are rude. This goes for ever culture. I really think Gutrat made it a bigger deal out of the whole thing than it needs to be and just knowing his personality, he can be a bit of a drama queen with things. Harassment isn’t an overwhelming part of life here as a foreigner but it does happen here and there (I’m saying that as a man. For women the story can be a bit different at times; this will probably be the next/first topic for the private email list- coming soon…I promise…I hope). Although the whole interaction was a bit odd and uncomfortable, I’d be lying if I didn’t feel a little bit good about a former adversary standing up for my honor.
The rest of the month was a blast. Mingechevir was sort of a destination spot for some good friends of mine and other volunteers all throughout February and it was great seeing people. There was also a great party that a fellow Volunteer hosted called the “Mustache & Fried Food Fest,” where everyone had to be wearing a real or fake stache; boys and girls a like.
My goal is to have another blog up by next Monday at the latest. Have a good week!
I know that a minor theme in recent entries has been my relationship with the host family. Long story short, the 22 yr old host brother (the one that ‘helped me out in the shower’ and have had several issues with ever since moving to Mingechevir) and I decided that we did not like each other. Well actually, without getting into too many details (A similar situation with the shower, but this time I was using the squat toilet…other stuff too) I ended up telling him that I was fed up with him. He didn’t like that at all so for about a week he and I didn’t even speak. Although his constant back-handed joking had stopped, I soon decided that I wasn’t very comfortable completely ignoring him or with him completely ignoring me. So what I decided to do was to have him play a role in my Azerbaijani Language lessons. I made a large amount of vocabulary words with index cards and handed them to him. We spent a whole week with him sort of playing teacher, not only with the words but with my pronunciation which has been my biggest problem from the start. What this ultimately did was give us something to bond over, gave him a sense of investment in improving my life here, and gave us something to do with each other while we just sat around the house; kind of just hanging out.
I’ve had a few weeks to reflect now, and I still think that the biggest success I’ve had while living in both host families has been turning this antagonizing relationship into a legitimate and trusting friendship. Really, Gutrat (pronounced Good-Rat….which I know find a bit ironic) is someone who has had my back several times since then. This goes for everything from when I am leaving the house and everyone asks where I’m going, he says “It doesn’t matter where he’s going, let him go in peace.” Or when I confess that my stomach hurts and I urgently need to use the toilet, he’ll go round everyone up and tell them he needs them inside for something to make sure no one is near the squatter while I (most likely noisily…sorry) take care of business.
Really he has my back on everything, but unfortunately I think it has gone a little too far at some points. The best example of this is while Gutrat and I walked down our street (he and I going to our respective work places) a couple guys our aged said something to us. It looked like my host bro knew them, but he immediately turned hostile towards one of the boys. Bantering words turned into angry expressions, expressions turned into a toe to toe staring contest, and then staring turned into a fist melee. The 2nd boy & I had to come between them and pull our fighters apart. As we walked on I asked him what that was all about. He said never mind, but after a few second said the guy insulted me.
Now, I’m sure I’ve heard whatever the boy said countless times since being here from other random people. It is what it is; most people are kind, some people are rude. This goes for ever culture. I really think Gutrat made it a bigger deal out of the whole thing than it needs to be and just knowing his personality, he can be a bit of a drama queen with things. Harassment isn’t an overwhelming part of life here as a foreigner but it does happen here and there (I’m saying that as a man. For women the story can be a bit different at times; this will probably be the next/first topic for the private email list- coming soon…I promise…I hope). Although the whole interaction was a bit odd and uncomfortable, I’d be lying if I didn’t feel a little bit good about a former adversary standing up for my honor.
The rest of the month was a blast. Mingechevir was sort of a destination spot for some good friends of mine and other volunteers all throughout February and it was great seeing people. There was also a great party that a fellow Volunteer hosted called the “Mustache & Fried Food Fest,” where everyone had to be wearing a real or fake stache; boys and girls a like.
My goal is to have another blog up by next Monday at the latest. Have a good week!
--------Comments From Last Time---------
Rob: You got me. I actually ran to Baku, and carried 6 other people on my back while I was in snow up to my belly button. Miss you brotha. Still waiting to hear about when you'll get a plane ticket out this way. With your back ground I think you'd really appreciate it!
Heather: HA! laughed out loud when i first saw that! You're right, I should have; totally has been known to work in the past
Nate: double HA! I hate my spelling, and thank you for mentioning it; I'm sure plenty of people who read this thing have been thinking it for a while. Miss you too man.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Post #16 Braving the Blizzard
Entry #10 I posted a blog with several questions I had been asking myself since arriving in country. One of those questions was "would I die in a marshutka," (Mini-bus/van). Well, Friday Febuary 5th I can say that I had some close calls.
I began my journey from Mingechevir to Baku; usually a 4 hour marshutka ride. Many of us planned on meeting there to watch the Super Bowl. I had been told there was going to be a huge blizzard hitting the country that weekend but figured I could complete my travels before the storm really got going....
About 1.5 hours in, snow had started falling and the landscape was blanketed in white. It was at that point I recieved a call from one of my fellow volunteers saying "Sean, the storm is really bad in Baku and roads are begining to shut down. The wind is insane and the roads are covered in ice. You might not want to get on the bus after all."I responded saying that I was already on my way and chuckled at my sercomstance.
Soon after the call ,I recieved a text that went out to all the volunteers from the Peace Corps Staff urging every PCV to not travel at all do to the weather. Public transportation was being shut down and the roads all over the country and especially near and around the capital Baku, were extremely dangerous....
So here is what the rest of the day had in store for me:
1> Once the roads became ice, the marshutka began fishtaling every once in while. At one point we were no longer parrallel with the road we were on. Twice we were skidding exactly perpendicular with the road.
2> As the weather was clearly getting worse I could see more and more vehicals that had lost control or
skidded off the road and became stuck off to the side or even in ditches....we kept going.
3> White-out conditions: about 5 hours into it, the wind was so bad and the roads so icy that when we were going at a snails pace we were actually being pushed sideways. The result of this was similar to bumper cars. Slowly, we bumped into other vehicals, and they bumped into us. This was made worse by the fact that we couldn't even see other vehicals until they were touching us at some points.
4> 3 different times, all of the men passangers got out of the marshutka to push the van out of being stuck. We were lucky to have all of us. Some cars that we passed didn't seem to have a chance.
5> The finale: as we were stationary in a long line of automobiles because of an accident up ahead, I watched all sorts of vehicles slowly moving passed my window going the opposite direction. I looked forward a little bit and saw a big bus moving towards us as normal. But, I noticed the back wheels were spinning a little funny. Just then, the bus started to fish-tale and the back end began to swing. Other passangers noticed as well and began to yell, moving to the other side of the marshutka. The bus literally hit right next to my window. Ironically, the icy roads were kind of our saving grace. Because of them, my van slid due to the impact rather than remaining in one place which would have probably resulted in a serious accident. No one was hurt, but we did need too remove ourselves from being stuck yet again.
8.5 hours later we made it to the bus station in Baku. We were safe! Everyone congratulated each other and shook the hand of our driver. In Azerbaijan people simply do not interact with each other on public transportation. However, because of the traumatizing experiences we had all shared that day, there was a sense of comradery that we shared. For the rest of the weekend there was a travel ban and people were not allowed to leave the city. Some of my friends who were planning to come into Baku on Saturday and Sunday simply couldn't leave their communities because no one was willing to drive on the roads. The next few nights I slept at a US Embassy worker's house along with some other volunteers who had met this person before. He was an incredibly gracious host & it was very relaxing...and warm.
Reminder: If you want to join the Private Email List mentioned in Post #15, just send your email to seaninazerbaijan@gmail.com and say who you are. I haven't sent one yet, but it'll happen eventually.
Pictures: I wasn't really in the mood to snap pictures during the crazy ride but I did manage to get a couple during the more mellow part of the trip. The other pictures are from the Super Bowl at 4am in a hotel in Baku.
-----Comments From Last Time-----
Rob: Hey buddy boy. Hope'n things are going well on the mean streets of SF. Hope you're staying safe. I remember you mentioning your roommate it has actually crossed my mind from time to time.
Breea: Glad you liked the reference. New you would. hope the first couple weeks back at school have been nice and exciting. Enjoy it!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Post #15: Azerbaijan's 9/11
My surroundings remind me every day that I am not in America. Usually it hits me early in the morning as I pass newly chopped off cow & sheep heads with their tongues hanging out and their eyes still staring at me. I can appreciate that they will provide fresh meat in dinners that night instead of shipped meat that has taken days to arrive. Everywhere I go I hear music. Sometimes it’s Azerbaijan’s ancient & national music, and some times its 50 Cent latest hit, from 5 years ago.
Unfortunately not all aspects of Azeri culture are as colorful as these examples. In fact some things that I encounter on a daily basis are rather dark and can be a bit uncomfortable. One issue that is EXTREMELY noticeable in every day life here is the remembrance of a war between Azerbaijan and the neighbor to the west; Armenia. It is a very very sensitive subject and I have been asked countless times (almost literally by every new person that I meet) if I’ve heard about the Armenians and what they did to Azerbaijan. It is also so sensitive that we as PCVs have been told time and time again not to express our own opinions about the matter, and it’s best just to say “I have heard about it. War is very sad,” or “Yes I’m so sorry to hear about the conflict,” or something along those lines. I hear about it everyday; if not in conversation then on the TV every night with my host family.
I’ve debated with myself for about a week about how to write this post. If any of it is unclear in anyway then I apologies, that’s not my intention. But I’m also not surprised since I’ve recently found it’s kind of hard to express my own thoughts on the matter on this public blog.
Here is the shortest and hopefully most none-biased explanation I can give of the war:
After the Soviet Union Collapsed, Azerbaijan and Armenia went to war over a region known as Nagorno-Karabakh. This is the southwestern region of Azerbaijn, neighboring Armenia. It was officially part of Azerbaijan but there was a majority of Ethnic Armenians living there. The legacy of the war is that Armenia currently occupies Nagorno-Karabakh which makes up 20% of Azerbaijan. The war is still technically going on but because of a cease-fire agreement that both countries agreed to there has been no officially fighting since 1994.
Ever since then, Azerbaijan’s culture/government/citizens/etc., have really made sure that they don’t forget that they were pretty severely scarred & defeated. People are still passionately angry about it. Even many of the youth that I work with, some of whom weren’t even born yet, are just as enraged as the rest of the population. Without getting into details I can honestly say that I have never known the hatred & the lingering feeling of victimization that exists here; which of course I am thankful for but also saddened by…
The 20th of January 1990 (Yirmi Yanvar in Azeri) is when Russian troops, still inside Azerbaijan, wounded and killed hundreds/thousands of civilians. This was also when Armenian tanks and troops moved into Azerbaijan to fight for the Nagorno-Karabakh region in.
Yirmi Yanvar is now a day to morn the people lost in the Armenian invasion and Russian attack; including all Azerbaijanis who lost their lives during the Conflict with Armenia in the years following. Everyone goes to their city’s cemetery where people who died during the conflict are buried. There they pay their respects and lay flowers on graves. The government controlled TV channels, which are all the channels in Azerbaijan, show 20th Yanvar themed broadcasting all day long (Movies, “news”, interviews, etc.).
On the 20th I went to the cemetery with several of my conversation club members. We then walked around the city and they told me what they knew/felt about the situation. They explain it to me as “Azerbaijan’s 9/11.”
I really am glad to have had the opportunity to pay my respect with them, and it really seemed to mean a lot. Truly, war is sad and the after effects are terrible. Azerbaijan does still have an IDP population (internally displaced peoples) that is 16 years removed from the war.
There are however, things surrounding the conflict that are used today that I believe are a disservice to Azerbaijan, and I’m not talking about evil Armenians on the other side of the border...
It is an issue that has to be tip-toed around a lot here. There are topics like Nagorno-Karabakh and other things that I really want to share with people who are interested enough to read this blog. And since Azerbai-Sean has become my official Peace Corps journal, I want to try and capture as many of my experiences and thoughts as possible. Yermi Yanvar and other things have made me realized that I am not able to do that here; on this public blog.
So what I’ve decided to do is create a way for me to chronicle my more personal thoughts and opinions on different things that I encounter here via a Mass Email list. I’d like to invite anyone who enjoys reading this blog to receive these emails. All you have to do is send an email to seaninazerbaijan@gmail.com and include your name/who you are. I will add your email address to the list and you will receive my more candid emails whenever I write them. This way I will be able to have a forum where I can be a bit more open about certain subjects that I would otherwise be uncomfortable posting here on the main blog.
I don’t see myself using it on any regular basis, and I’m not sure what it will include (possibly rants, culturally sensitive subjects, my own personal frustrations with specific things, etc.). Do not feel pressured to join this list. Again, it’s more for me so that I can keep a well rounded account of my time here while still keeping the main blog focused on being a tool for people interested in the Peace Corps and service abroad and to communicate with you all back home.
Thanks & take care!
-----Comments from Last Time------
Breea: Thanks for the continued prayers & well wishes. Flogging Molly reference: I know you'll never "turn your back on me," you'll "never let me down!" Good luck starting this finally semester. You're basically "within a mile of home!"
I feel incredibly dorky...but I love it.Caroline: Great to hear from you! Congrats on all the developments in your life. And yeah, 3 Cups of Tea was amazing. I'm on the last 20 pages of Mountains Beyond Mountains, and for anyone who enjoyed 3CT, it's a must!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Post 14: Lessons in Humility
Work has been smooth and I’ve been exploring other possible ways to use my available time. I met with Azerbaijan’s Save The Children office in Ming last Friday (For those who don’t know, after the ’08 Presidential Elections I worked for an organization that did advacacy & awareness efforts for STC in the States). I’m anxious to see what exactly they’ve been up to and what plans they have for the future.
I’ve been doing a lot of reading too which I’m happy about. My favorite book so far has been 3 Cups of Tea, which tells the true story of a former mountaineer who spent some time in Northern Pakistan after a nearly fatale attempt climbing K2. Ever since the 90’s this guy has built schools in areas that not even the Pakistani government could/would reach. He’s had his run-ins with the Taliban and has even started projects in Post 9/11 Afghanistan. What I loved most was that 1 of the major messages of the book focused on education in those areas as a vital tool to fighting Islamic extremism. And that an overwhelming majority of people living in that region strongly oppose extremism and want nothing more than what everyone wants: a life with opportunities for themselves and their families.
I’ve started another book that seems to have a similar feel of dedication and service. It has come highly recommended to me by my friend and former boss, Rick Eaton, called Mountains Beyond Mountains. This one is about a doctor who has truly dedicated nearly every day of his life to supplying medical care and services to the people of Haiti. Please fact check me if I’m wrong, but I think I read somewhere that currently in Haiti (post earthquake) the only hospitals capable of providing medical services are ones that Dr. Farmer and his organization, Partners in Health, have established in the past in several communities outside of the capital.
The biggest success for me personally last week had to do with my relationship with the host family. There had previously been issues and situations that caused me to be impatient and frustrated, and in many cases I felt that I was less like a guest or member of the family and more of a burden. 1 example is that I did not agree with their strong suggestion of being home by 8:30 every night, and then came home to a locked gate sometime in the 9 o’clock hr (I stayed in contact with them too, letting them know I wouldn’t be home until later since I was walking some of the PCV girls home). Another example is in regards to my 22 year old host brother. He’s the man of the house since the father past away some years ago. The problem is I don’t think I would ever call him mature and he seems to see himself as some kind of comedian. He loves to make jokes and likes to do some teasing at my expense, which is easy to do since I hardly ever understand him. Believe me when I say that it got really old rather quickly. My retaliation and way of kind of striking back was to never do anything he told me to do since I could always assume he was playing some kind of joke on me. Of course in some cases he wasn’t joking, but I kind of had a ‘that’ll show’m’ attitude about it. My younger host brother liked this technique, but ‘the man of the house’ wasn’t very amused.
I did my fare share of complaining and making jokes about the situation so I could blow off steam with in the Peace Corps community. However, my funny stories of countless nights of Borsch for dinner (cabbage soup) and the time the 22 yr old poked his head through the window of the outside wash room while I was buck naked were always trumped by a serious story of someone having to switch families because of a safety & security issues. Someone’s host brother stole a large amount of money from him and the police got involved. Another person’s host father was making inappropriate verbal advances towards her and was showing no signs of stopping (By the way, these are not normal things at all; very unique situations). The point is I was reminded of how lucky I really am.
The story of those other PCVs’ experiences coupled with the humility and hard work of building cultural bridges I’d been reading about from Greg Mortenson in 3 Cups of Tea and Dr. Farmer in Mountains Beyond Mountains, kind of helped me realize I had put myself on a course that I was not happy with. In fact, I found myself feeling a bit embarrassed. I knew some changes needed to be made and I reminded myself that I can only be in control of myself and my own actions.
Last week ended wonderfully. My mother, who at one point I felt didn’t really want me there, is now introducing me as her son to guests. My 18 year old brother and I continue to have a flourishing relationship, and even the 22 year old host brother who can still drives me nuts, has stopped with the unnecessary jokes…unless people are visiting and he wants to put on a performance for a new audience.
I’ve started another book that seems to have a similar feel of dedication and service. It has come highly recommended to me by my friend and former boss, Rick Eaton, called Mountains Beyond Mountains. This one is about a doctor who has truly dedicated nearly every day of his life to supplying medical care and services to the people of Haiti. Please fact check me if I’m wrong, but I think I read somewhere that currently in Haiti (post earthquake) the only hospitals capable of providing medical services are ones that Dr. Farmer and his organization, Partners in Health, have established in the past in several communities outside of the capital.
The biggest success for me personally last week had to do with my relationship with the host family. There had previously been issues and situations that caused me to be impatient and frustrated, and in many cases I felt that I was less like a guest or member of the family and more of a burden. 1 example is that I did not agree with their strong suggestion of being home by 8:30 every night, and then came home to a locked gate sometime in the 9 o’clock hr (I stayed in contact with them too, letting them know I wouldn’t be home until later since I was walking some of the PCV girls home). Another example is in regards to my 22 year old host brother. He’s the man of the house since the father past away some years ago. The problem is I don’t think I would ever call him mature and he seems to see himself as some kind of comedian. He loves to make jokes and likes to do some teasing at my expense, which is easy to do since I hardly ever understand him. Believe me when I say that it got really old rather quickly. My retaliation and way of kind of striking back was to never do anything he told me to do since I could always assume he was playing some kind of joke on me. Of course in some cases he wasn’t joking, but I kind of had a ‘that’ll show’m’ attitude about it. My younger host brother liked this technique, but ‘the man of the house’ wasn’t very amused.
I did my fare share of complaining and making jokes about the situation so I could blow off steam with in the Peace Corps community. However, my funny stories of countless nights of Borsch for dinner (cabbage soup) and the time the 22 yr old poked his head through the window of the outside wash room while I was buck naked were always trumped by a serious story of someone having to switch families because of a safety & security issues. Someone’s host brother stole a large amount of money from him and the police got involved. Another person’s host father was making inappropriate verbal advances towards her and was showing no signs of stopping (By the way, these are not normal things at all; very unique situations). The point is I was reminded of how lucky I really am.
The story of those other PCVs’ experiences coupled with the humility and hard work of building cultural bridges I’d been reading about from Greg Mortenson in 3 Cups of Tea and Dr. Farmer in Mountains Beyond Mountains, kind of helped me realize I had put myself on a course that I was not happy with. In fact, I found myself feeling a bit embarrassed. I knew some changes needed to be made and I reminded myself that I can only be in control of myself and my own actions.
Last week ended wonderfully. My mother, who at one point I felt didn’t really want me there, is now introducing me as her son to guests. My 18 year old brother and I continue to have a flourishing relationship, and even the 22 year old host brother who can still drives me nuts, has stopped with the unnecessary jokes…unless people are visiting and he wants to put on a performance for a new audience.
None the less, doing little things like bringing home some cheap cookies or sweets from the bazaar on the way home and offering to go get bread for dinner at the market instead of one of the brothers having to always go has gone a very long way in a very very short period of time. And, if being home by 8:30 to hang out in the living room with them while they watch hours of Azeri TV is what will make all the difference, then it’s a battle totally worth loosing.
I’d like to leave you with a quote from a fellow volunteer and friend as she was chronicling her experience for friends & family back home. It too gave me a bit more focus and perspective last week:
“To those who say peace does not come that easy I can say that I have sat in the living rooms of people I have nothing in common with and without weighty words and without powerful weapons have made peace. Those who say it is not that simple are not willing to be vulnerable for the sake of friendship because you have to trust their water to drink their tea. Don’t let people convince you that ‘war is necessary.’” - Sarah Ferguson, AZ7 PCV.
I’d like to leave you with a quote from a fellow volunteer and friend as she was chronicling her experience for friends & family back home. It too gave me a bit more focus and perspective last week:
“To those who say peace does not come that easy I can say that I have sat in the living rooms of people I have nothing in common with and without weighty words and without powerful weapons have made peace. Those who say it is not that simple are not willing to be vulnerable for the sake of friendship because you have to trust their water to drink their tea. Don’t let people convince you that ‘war is necessary.’” - Sarah Ferguson, AZ7 PCV.
----------Comments From Last Time----------
Hannah: I can't wait for you to meet all these people! It's going to be wonderful. Of course as you can see from the picture, Eli has become pretty attached and might be a bit territorial, so just be ready for that.
Nate: I want you to know that if you ever came out here and played just a few games of basketball, you'd be a living legened throughout this country. And you & I both know that my facial hair, which I've been working on for quite sometime now, couldn't even hold a candle to the growth you could produce in 2 weeks time. Miss you brother.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
#13: 1st month of service
Now that the holidays are over and I sort of have a routine down I plan to post a blog at the beginning of each week. Let me give you a quick timeline of the past month:
December 10: Traveled to my permanent site; the city of Mingechevir
December 11-19: Introduction to my host family, my host organization (The Ministry of Youth & Sports), my fellow Volunteers (8 of us total in the city), and just the city & surroundings in general.
December 20-January 3: The Holidays! My Birthday on the 21st in Ming. Christmas in Sheki about a 1.5 hr bus ride North of me. New Years in Baku, the Capital.
January 4-11: Focusing back on work and organizing my plans for the immediate future.
Although everyone wants to hit the ground running when it comes to something they’re eager or excited about, the Peace Corps prepared us to expect the first few months to be very slow. Basically the expectation of a new volunteer is to observe the new community, get to know their surrounds and begin to settle in and build relationships with locals. No one is expected to begin projects right off the bat. We’re all the new kids in town, and unlike Pre-Service Training which is incredible structure day in and day out, there is almost nothing waiting for us to jump into. This time is meant for us to continue practicing our language, build relationships with our Azeri counterparts at work, and to network with anyone and everyone (get to know people in your organization as well as the guy selling potatoes at the bazaar, etc.). To sum it up, we’re building our foundation for the next 2 years of our lives, not saving the world in a matter of weeks.
However, the very real danger of this period of time for a volunteer is boredom. The lack of structure, the lack of work, and even the lack of real accountability in some cases can actually weigh pretty heavily on an individual who has expected a lot out of themselves leading up to this point. I have recently heard from some AZ6’s who have been here for a year now that the first 3 months was the most difficult time during their service thus far. Of course this is not a universal thought; just opinions and experiences of people I have talked to.
I will say that my experience has not been a direct reflection of what the Peace Corps told us to expect. My very first week in town I kind of was thrown into making several English Conversation Clubs. These clubs are sort of the corner stones for YD’s, at least as initial projects. These clubs are meant to provide a forum for young adults to come together to practice and use English that they’ve learned in school, share ideas and points of view on topics ranging from favorite types of food to political and social issues, and to learn about American culture from PCV’s. This past week I actually held interviews with over 35 Azerbaijani teens and young adults and placed them into different clubs I’ve scheduled so that I can match people up who are at similar levels of English competency.
I have to believe that the reasons why I have so many youth at my disposal right off the bat has to do with a these 2 things:
1) Mingechevir is the 4th biggest city in the country, so naturally there a just a lot of people here.
2) As I mentioned before, there are 8 PCV’s currently in Ming, and the Peace Corps has had a presence in the city for quite a long time. So a good chunk of these youth have experienced, met and participated in projects organized by volunteers long before I ever got here.
Other than that, I have been enjoying and finding great success in getting to know my fellow volunteers and my community. Just some of the things that have been a lot of fun (and in my mind productive) are sitting with some of the young adult boys in tea houses and playing chess while talking & joking, being invited to people’s homes for dinner and then staying to talk and play more games, playing basketball several times a week (for those of you that don’t know, I might be the worst b-ball player I know…..State side that is. I feel like a stud here). Also I piloted an English Movie Club. The group overwhelmingly voted to watch Twilight which I had not seen yet and if we continue to have this particular club they’ve already made it a mission to find a bootlegged copy of the sequel, New Moon.
I won’t get into the holidays too much, but the pictures are all from those gatherings. It was sad being away from home, but it was nice to be with large groups of Americans who were all in the same boat and all looking forward to having fun and celebrating together.
December 10: Traveled to my permanent site; the city of Mingechevir
December 11-19: Introduction to my host family, my host organization (The Ministry of Youth & Sports), my fellow Volunteers (8 of us total in the city), and just the city & surroundings in general.
December 20-January 3: The Holidays! My Birthday on the 21st in Ming. Christmas in Sheki about a 1.5 hr bus ride North of me. New Years in Baku, the Capital.
January 4-11: Focusing back on work and organizing my plans for the immediate future.
Although everyone wants to hit the ground running when it comes to something they’re eager or excited about, the Peace Corps prepared us to expect the first few months to be very slow. Basically the expectation of a new volunteer is to observe the new community, get to know their surrounds and begin to settle in and build relationships with locals. No one is expected to begin projects right off the bat. We’re all the new kids in town, and unlike Pre-Service Training which is incredible structure day in and day out, there is almost nothing waiting for us to jump into. This time is meant for us to continue practicing our language, build relationships with our Azeri counterparts at work, and to network with anyone and everyone (get to know people in your organization as well as the guy selling potatoes at the bazaar, etc.). To sum it up, we’re building our foundation for the next 2 years of our lives, not saving the world in a matter of weeks.
However, the very real danger of this period of time for a volunteer is boredom. The lack of structure, the lack of work, and even the lack of real accountability in some cases can actually weigh pretty heavily on an individual who has expected a lot out of themselves leading up to this point. I have recently heard from some AZ6’s who have been here for a year now that the first 3 months was the most difficult time during their service thus far. Of course this is not a universal thought; just opinions and experiences of people I have talked to.
I will say that my experience has not been a direct reflection of what the Peace Corps told us to expect. My very first week in town I kind of was thrown into making several English Conversation Clubs. These clubs are sort of the corner stones for YD’s, at least as initial projects. These clubs are meant to provide a forum for young adults to come together to practice and use English that they’ve learned in school, share ideas and points of view on topics ranging from favorite types of food to political and social issues, and to learn about American culture from PCV’s. This past week I actually held interviews with over 35 Azerbaijani teens and young adults and placed them into different clubs I’ve scheduled so that I can match people up who are at similar levels of English competency.
I have to believe that the reasons why I have so many youth at my disposal right off the bat has to do with a these 2 things:
1) Mingechevir is the 4th biggest city in the country, so naturally there a just a lot of people here.
2) As I mentioned before, there are 8 PCV’s currently in Ming, and the Peace Corps has had a presence in the city for quite a long time. So a good chunk of these youth have experienced, met and participated in projects organized by volunteers long before I ever got here.
Other than that, I have been enjoying and finding great success in getting to know my fellow volunteers and my community. Just some of the things that have been a lot of fun (and in my mind productive) are sitting with some of the young adult boys in tea houses and playing chess while talking & joking, being invited to people’s homes for dinner and then staying to talk and play more games, playing basketball several times a week (for those of you that don’t know, I might be the worst b-ball player I know…..State side that is. I feel like a stud here). Also I piloted an English Movie Club. The group overwhelmingly voted to watch Twilight which I had not seen yet and if we continue to have this particular club they’ve already made it a mission to find a bootlegged copy of the sequel, New Moon.
I won’t get into the holidays too much, but the pictures are all from those gatherings. It was sad being away from home, but it was nice to be with large groups of Americans who were all in the same boat and all looking forward to having fun and celebrating together.
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