Post #10: top 10 things to konw about Azerbaijan before coming here

(Pictures: A Marshuka, Some of us YD's before playing a game of Futball with some locals, our 1st conversation club!)

Well, this is the 10th entry! It's also my 1 month mark of being in country (As of November 1st). It was an eventful month, and one that gave me a lot of in site on some of the things I can expect to see/experience over the next two years.

Here are the Top 10 Questions I've asked myself over the course of this month:

10) Will I die in a Marshuka?

- Long story short: I was zoning out on a ride in one of these bus/vans, and didn't think much of a train horn that I heard outside, nor did I notice our increased speed. When I looked out my window there was the locomotive not even 20 yards away, heading right for us. Our Marshuka driver basically played chicken with the train and crossed the tracks at the last second! This story doesn't include other details about a typical drive; swerving in and out of traffic, abrupt stops, etc. Yikes.

9) What is the best way to respond to being cussed at in Azeri?

-Everyday, I walk on the streets of Tagiyev, where the young kids coral around me saying "Hallo! Vhat is your name?" this is the extent of there English, and I respond with my English language greeting. Now, it seems that more often than not one of the little boys in the group will say something in Azeri, and the rest will laugh and repeat whatever is being said. It sounds like I'm not the only one who experiences this and I guess the kids are saying really nasty things to all of us. I guess I have two options:

#1) Learn how to say, "Hey why would you say such a mean thing to me? I'm a guest here and I would never treat you like that if you were a guest in my country."

#2) I can take a line from the movie Tommy Boy and learn to say, "Listen up you little spazoids! I know where you live and I've seen where you sleep. I swear to everything holy that your mothers will cry when they see what I've done to you!"

8) Am I ever going to get used to ATM traffic jams?

The Peace Corps puts our stipend into a bank account and we simply access it through an ATM. The thing about ATM's in Azerbaijan is that it's not nearly as private as it is in the States. Or organized for that matter. EVERYONE crowds around while one person is operating the ATM machine. There is literally no line, and not an inch between bodies. I've heard that a lot of people really don't know how to operate ATM's yet, so what I've seen is that it kind of becomes a lesson on how to work it every time someone gets to the front of the "line". In some cases, one person will go to the ATM with a whole stack of cards; either fellow employees, other family members or even all the people from their apartment building. In this case you can basically just forget about using the ATM anytime soon and might want to try your luck another day.

7) How long will it take for me to get used to whole rows of gold teeth?

Dental Hygiene isn't really a priority here. And because of that, a lot of people (almost everyone from their mid 20's on) has at least 1 gold tooth that has replaced a rotten one. Many people have multiple gold teeth, and I've seen quite a few mouths with full rows.

To quote a current Peace Corps Volunteer, "You know you've been in Azerbaijan too long when you start to find gold teeth on women attractive. 1 gold tooth is better than none and 2 is better that 1."

6) How will my Azeri be when I'm done with training?

I found out my Mid Training Language test scores this week! The rankings on the langauge are as follows:

-Novice: Low, Medium, High

-Intermediate: Low, Medium, High

-Superior: Low, Medium, High

By the end of training, the goal for YD volunteers is Intermediate Medium: Putting sentences together, understanding past, present, future, etc. No trainees are expected to be in the Superior levels which are levels of fluency.

I received a Intermediate Low which means I have moved into a little bit more advanced language than what I was previously in. It felt good to advance, but I also know that I'm a long way off from even being close to fluent. My host family would definitely agree to that statement.

5) The Toilet situation. Anymore surprises?

My guess is probably yes; I would bet on it.

4) Will I learn all the words to the Islamic Call To Prayer?

I hear it several times a day so if that stays consistent then maybe, one day, I'll be able to recite it. However, it's in Arabic and not Azerbaijani so that could prove to be pretty difficult.

3) Will drinking ice water and showering in the morning kill me?

There is this really strange stigma about the cold here. It's something that everyone is really concerned about, even the doctors! For instance, women really should not/can't sit on the floor because their ovaries will freeze. There really isn't any ice and even sodas and drinks that are in markets aren't kept cold. They're kept in the big refrigerators like in the States, but none of them are on. My host mom advised me the other day to stop showering in the morning because I'll get very very ill from being too cold and leaving the house.

2) Am I ever going to really get used to all the man touching?

It's really not that big of a deal, just very noticeable and interesting compared to what is culturally typical in the US. For instance, it's completely acceptable here for male friends to greet each other with a couple kisses on the cheek and then walk together hand in hand. Another thing that I experience on almost a daily basis is a hand squeeze that signals "I'm sorry," or "we're not going to fight," or something like that.

Stepping on some one's foot is considered a pretty big insult. On some of these buses that get really crowded, I (as a man) usually end up standing during the ride. It really gets pretty packed and some times either I step on some one's foot or someone steps on my foot. What happens next is the offender grabs the other person's hand and gives it a little squeeze. Both of us nod in agreement that everything is okay and that's that. This really has happened to me quite a bit; on the bus, walking at the bazaar, really anywhere feet might get stepped on.

1) WHERE AM I GOING?!

On November 10th we find out where our permanent site placements are. Now that the Placement Interviews are over, all of us are dying to find out where we will end up. Not only that, but those of us in YD are wondering what we will be doing as well. Some will be placed at an non-government organizations (NGO's), others at a school and a few in government programs and offices. We can hardly wait!

Things have been great so far in November. We've gotten some experience now with some local teens in the schools by running lessons on basic computer skills and typing. One of the pictures above is of a successful English conversation club my class ran. This is where youth came and we only spoke in English so that they could gain some experience with the language, which many of them are eager to learn.

I'll let you know about that site placement stuff and any other information as soon as I get the official word!

----------Comments From Last Time----------

Rob: At least I haven't come a cross a simple hole in the ground yet, but it has only been 4 weeks. Feel comforted in knowing that the first time I do see one, I'll think of you.

TV is just a few channels; all run by the government. Some nights there will be a great movie on from Hollywood that is dubbed Azeri. Other than that, the New is, as I said, government run, and the rest is game shows and sitcoms that remind me of Telemundo shows.

Hannah: What it is babe. I didn't design the plumbing situation.

Steve: The funny thing is that a friend messaged me saying he read a NewsWeek article about the minuses of toilet paper and the pluses of the water & hand technique. Made me feel better about writing the last entry. Thanks for your support to Steve; I kind of figured I could count on it while dealing with that subject manner.

Loki: That's a great point! I guess I could have added that the toilet seat I did see was in a PC volunteers home, and was purchased by other PC volunteers so that they could use it while visiting her apartment.

Breea: Again, what it is. BMs are a part of daily life and people asked. haha. And if you were my host family, I'd be pumped. I'd only have to worry about being tackled once in a while.